The Gloaming

And so I cast my gaze upon the frozen icy land, and I ponder this unchanging landscape that I behold. The land before and behind me enveloped in a thick veil of gloom. It feels, as I travel and step deeper within the gloom that my sense of self is lost behind me that dots that make up I disconnect…

The object that entrances me and bolts my gaze upon it, screams red with alarm , a severe contrast to the dull silvers that paint this still canvas.. Alarm, alarm, the very word drifts uneasily across my mind like a slow moving cloud that fades when grasps upon. echo’s off memories play out in my head that throw off flashing blue lights and loud noises, mere phantasms that melt as fast as they formulated. A dread sense of unease grips me, unsettling feelings arise from inner dark recesses and sub terrarium caverns akin to the awakened Kraken ..

The desolate landscape reveals a frozen water that seems to be symbolic of my frozen mind. More and more the feeling persists that entombed memories last beneath my own ice sheet, vaguely perceived  and distorted though the translucent frozen water. ….. Who am I? Where am I? How long has it been this way? Questions that have no easy answers disturb the settled miasma or quagmire that surrounds me…

A tree, its branches unmoving, frozen it time greets me as I walk further along the linear path that reveals no other. Hues of green and brown pockmark this frozen tundra suggests it has not always been this way and provide something of an oasis in landscape that all other colours had been absorbed perhaps? So when here, this last refuge against this unrevealed vampiric force that dominates this world. An anti-life  is one could call it that, sucking and leaching at the sumptuous lifeforce that lays before it. Will I too succumb to this discarnate incubus, remaining forever frozen in place?

On I stumble, blindly, unknowingly and unwittingly perhaps into the maw of dissolution. I try hard to concentrate and tie my fragmented memories to the deck of my mind  for fear that they will be washed overboard by the unceasing waves, to be lost at sea disappearing into the gloom  behind me. ..  but the unseen forces the animate this scenery, sentient, and conscious, send gusts of I’ll temperate air to occupy me, greeting me with thier frigid lovers kiss…

Lost and confused the landscape seems the same, did I not already pass this way? Am I walking backwards? Confusion Regina and I feel satisfied tendrils  engage me in Thier python like coils. The more I struggle with the befuddlment the more they clasp and embroil me. I’m going under, dazed and docile with every breath, I feel the darkness awash over me like a drowning person as water fills their lungs and the light dims in their eyes.. one last breath, one last thought, a singular, baseline fundamental cry for help…

And then I’m not taken under, but somehow I still function, the mists of the mind begin to dissipate, I feel. I feel that anger as tentacles retreat, defeat snatched from the jaws is victory, the rabbit dodges the killing pounce of the wolf. Before me a path becomes clear, a tree stands valiant guarding the way, it’s outstretched arms  of brown and green surely strained by the encroaching anti- life, but stands  it still ushering  me under its protective boughs. I unfurl from the fetal position I was in and see that the icy grip of timeless death wanes beyond this point and that it calls and beckons me with promises of sanctuary and answers and  so I follow this ever louder heartbeat of manifested life, manifested creation.

A guiding light in the sky appears cutting asunder the colour drained environment. It sings to me and shines on me, reigniting the extinguished internal furnaces of my core. Like a hot air balloon that is filled with hot gases, I feel myself become lighter, less dense, until my feet barely touch the ground before finally I alight into the sky and hone in on the guiding light that guides me in its tractor beam. With every passage of flight that bears me ever closer to this Son of God as I realize it to be now, my frozen ice sheet evaporates, the conscious and unconscious mind neld . The  veil of forgetting has de-materialised  Uniting spirit with soul, until then….

I stand ‘naked’ but whole before my creator on equal footing with God’s Son, as much a part of me as I it, and I remember everything as I re-merge into this timeless unity of all things…

The End

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