Love and understanding

Hold no grudges, bear no ill will as these things do not serve you, instead they only serve to keep you stuck! Instead let your heart fill with love; love for all people and all things, even those who you perceive to have wronged you. How to you do this?

When someone has done you a wrong, or had made you feel less than your self-worth, you tend to judge them there and then. But if you could only look over their shoulders down along the path of their lives, and see the choices and decisions they’ve made; you may understand that those same choices and decisions may have been made by you, if those choices and decisions were yours to make.

All those actions that people take are shaped by their emotions, their interactions with other people and their environment and they can cause a person to have a positive or negative experience and therefore, a positive or negative action or decision when faced with a choice.

It is these experiences or life choices that shape a person’s behaviour and outlook on life all throughout their lives right up to the person standing in front of you, whose shoulders you are looking over. Could you honestly say that when presented with the same choices, swayed by the same influences, that your actions would have been different?

For me there are two viewpoints; those with a lack of understanding and those with an understanding. Those with a lack of understanding are still fast asleep within the illusion. They are pushed and pulled by the ‘unseen’ forces of the world much like the ebb and flow of the tide. They let the head rule the heart and react to a given situation without really examining the experience and asking the how’s and why’s.

Meanwhile you have those who have an ‘understanding’ of the reality of our world, those who are spiritually aware. They may see life in terms of Karma and catalyst (see Seeking posts), in polarity, positive and negative, the forces that are constantly at work attempting to sway you towards one or the other.

“Each experience will need to be observed, experienced, balanced, accepted, and seated within the individual…Each experience will be sequentially understood by the growing and seeking mind/body/spirit complex in terms of survival, then in terms of personal identity, then in terms of social relations, then in terms of universal love, then in terms of how the experience may beget free communication, then in terms of how the experience may be linked to universal energies, and finally in terms of the sacramental nature of each experience.”

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Now all this is not to say that those who have an understanding are enlightened or intriniscally more intelligent than those who have no, or a lesser understanding, it simply means that they have more awareness. But to a more highly evolved entity’s viewpoint, then they themselves become the ones with a lack of understanding and so on and so on. So even those with a lack of understanding can easily move to having a understanding simply by the accumulation of knowledge and or experience.

The point being that you may think you know a lot, have a deep or deeper understanding of reality, but eventually you encounter something that makes you realise how much more there is to learn. That the knowledge you have is merely the tip of the tip, of the tip, of the iceberg. Each and every one of us is on our own personal journey of discovery and the learning never stops until we return to the source or the creator.

So with all this in mind, how hard does it becomes too judge and have resentment for others? So instead, let your heart fill up with love. Think of a person you love, it could be a spouse, a parent, a child, a relation or a friend. Think of how it feels to love; once you have that feeling, extend it outwards to everyone in your close circle.

Once you’ve accomplished that, try to extend that love again to the next circle of people that you’re simply friends with. Keep on doing this until you can feel love for people you’ve never met; and then finally for those who you perceive have done you an injustice. Realise their actions come from a lack of understanding.

If one is unsure of how to love or the concept of love, then we need to simply what the word love actually means. So when we talk about love, what do we mean? What does it mean to say, I love him/her/them or perhaps they love me. Well the word love simply means, you bring me happiness in some way. When I see you or think of about you, it makes me happy, it makes me smile or warms my heart.

Yes, we can talk about love between a husband and wife or perhaps a boyfriend and girlfriend (for this analogy); but this does not fully describe the term love. Think about someone you know, what is it about them that you like, that makes you relax in their company? Is it their actions in some way that makes you laugh? Perhaps it’s their facial expressions when they laugh or cry or when they’re in deep consideration.

Perhaps it’s their stance, the way they run their hands through their hair or stroke their beard.

It could be the way they fidget with their fingers or their hand gestures or any numerous quirks about them that causes you too consider them in a positive manner.

These things please you, you find them pleasant about them. They. Make. You. HAPPY! And so therefore you love them for it, whatever ‘it‘ actually is. But we have gotten so uptight in society that we no longer express our emotions openly, they’re viewed as things that make you of control.

Case in point, go home and tell your significant other this: “I have a confession to make, well you know my fiend Gerry/Geri from work? Well I’m in love with them. What do you think their reaction with be? You’re most little to be met with a horrified or angry reaction, if not a frying pan to the head!

All due to a lack of understanding. In this case over a simple four letter word and it’s meaning. How many other words have caused conflict due to a lack of understanding? A prime example would be the word God! How many wars have been started over the word God. How often have you heard that phrases ‘in god’s name’, ‘for god and country’.

How many jihads or fatwas have been declared due to some perceived insult to the prophet or Allah? Should we not instead be holding a conversion with that person and asking them ‘what do you mean when you say god? Who do you mean when you say Allah?

And so it is the same with the word love. When we examine it and discuss it, we realise that love is not the sole property of lovers, of family or relations. It is not something to run away from when someone tells you they love YOU, nor is it something to be sneered at when someone expresses their love for all people.

Anyone who does so is simply coming from a place of ignorance or, lack of understanding. They’re shut off from their feelings believing that expressing these feelings makes them weak and subject to ridicule. They don’t grasp the fact that there is no true individuality, all are part of the one and the one is part of the all. To love another is to love yourself.

And the biggest part of love and understanding is to have love for yourself. Not in a narcissistic way, but with an understanding that you are an eternal part of the creator who has choosen to have this human experience. Your faults and flaws are part of the deal. It’s part of the human experience. It’s the creator, as you, experiencing itself in as many varied ways as possible. Once you grasp that, then you have an understanding that ALL experiences are valid experiences of the creator. Viewed in that light then there truly are no negative experiences, Just experiences…

If all else fails, then know that I love you! I may have never met you, I may never meet you, but I love you all the same, as an equal and as part of the infinite creator too.